Controlling your kids or invading their privacy?

RoboMan

Level 32
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Content Creator
Jun 24, 2016
2,172
With technology on its best and highest point, dangers exist everywhere: even online. This sometimes makes parents believe their kids will do stupid things such as meet with strangers or share innapropiate material.

This has been a good marketing strategy for security vendors to sell suites with parental contro, kids controlling modules, etc. Some of them even let you spy on your kids, on their pictures and conversations. Some parents, not knowing the existence of such apps, even grab their kids' phones and scroll through their conversations, social media and photo albums.

This, of course, brings some big controversy: is it okay to spy on your kid "for their own safety"? Are you invading their privacy and personal space? Should parents look at their 14 year-old boy's pictures (you may not like those photos!)? Is there a limit age to which you should control their devices? Only when they're too small?

Some say it's OK to check a kids devices when he's 10..11 years old. Some also sustain that you cannot spy on a teenager (13+) because they're on a special age where they need space and privacy.

What do you think? Do you control your kids in any way?
 

upnorth

Moderator
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Malware Hunter
Jul 27, 2015
4,379
This sometimes makes parents believe their kids will do stupid things
It's sadly in the nature of kids doing stupid things. Normally how they learn stuff, wrong from right and one day finally grows up and leave the nest. Some of course don't or take extra long time but it's all individual. Parents, family, teachers, the actual role models ( not there stupid friends! ) are there for a reason but when for example parents don't know up from down or left from right, it gets pretty hard for kids.

Kids plain and simple needs rules and most grow up with so called house rules. Who does what and when etc. The use of Internet connection rules is a smart way to start. Sure they can rock and roll outside through others Wifi etc but home will always be home and if it's not a abusive and harsh environment, kids feels safe and learns for example it's just 2 hours game play, after the studies been done. Kindergarten, the school etc all got rules and if a kid can't follow that for any reason, other adults normally intervene. Basic stuff really!
 

blackice

Level 33
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Apr 1, 2019
2,205
I think that if they are benefiting from my network and internet access that I have the oversight. However, I am of the mind that this oversight is more for the security of all members and devices in the home. I think that if my kids show responsibility then I will give them enough room to grow, but not so much they can destroy themselves. Every family is different, and every child needs different boundaries to be able to function and grow to their potential.
 

Dave Russo

Level 15
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May 26, 2014
718
In my family,there was little privacy,sneaking around{lol} usually lead to poor actions,Dads and Moms,90% of the time{ is my guess}.Have a way better sense of morality,predators and have there kids best interest in mind.We all need rules {use the word control if you want},Good ,evil decisions mean so much
 

Slyguy

Level 44
Jan 27, 2017
3,328
Parental controls and monitoring until they are 18 IMO.

It's really a parents obligation to do this. Especially with all of the brainwashing, false information, and deception out there. By doing this, and other things like keeping toxins and chemicals out of your kids bodies you wake them up - they grow up as concerned citizens with access to their higher self. Not mindless drones and government bootlickers.
 

Spawn

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Jan 8, 2011
21,136
It's called parenting.
I had 0 restrictions for using the Internet, although dial-up was painfully slow to do anything useful and if the telephone rang, you get disconnected.

Nowadays everything is "Always-On" and "Always-Connected", and with 5G rolling out, things are set to get even faster.

Some 11 year old will throw a tantrum if they don't get the latest Samsung 5G smartphone with 5G data plan. LOL
 

Threadripper

Level 9
Feb 24, 2019
414
I had 0 restrictions for using the Internet, although dial-up was painfully slow to do anything useful and if the telephone rang, you get disconnected.

Nowadays everything is "Always-On" and "Always-Connected", and with 5G rolling out, things are set to get even faster.

Some 11 year old will throw a tantrum if they don't get the latest Samsung 5G smartphone with 5G data plan. LOL
I also had no restrictions, maybe that's why I'm the nerd I am today.

Pre-11 I had a PC, played some basic games on that, watched videos, nothing too interesting but I loved my Xbox. At 11 I got a phone, a Windows Phone because I was starting high school and nothing too interesting happened at that stage. At that age I was still pretty nerdy and intelligent for my age.

Everybody is different, especially young people. Some people are way too sensitive, others are way too aggressive behind a keyboard; both extremes are equally as bad. I'd likely bring up a child similar to how I was brought up, but no doubt I'd worry more about security & privacy rather than what my kid is doing on their phone and I'd likely back off at around 16, depends. Certainly wouldn't go through all of their messages though, unless I had a real and genuine cause for concern.
 

RoboMan

Level 32
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Content Creator
Jun 24, 2016
2,172
So if you managing your kids accounts, you invading their privacy?

Of course not, they your kids.

What next, you get accused of kidnapping for forcing your kids home? :unsure:
I disagree. If you manage your kids accounts and check their phones until they're 19 like suggested somewhere in this thread, you'll 95% sure face innapropiate photos on the sent to their girlfriends/boyfriends, personal pictures, and beyond stuff that is totally normal on a TEENAGER nowadays and that you should certainly not be looking at, no matter they're your kids.
 
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