Computer Humor Thread

[jackuars]

1.
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

2.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

3.
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

4.
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

5.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

6.
Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

 

[NullPointerException]

Boss : Hey, what are you doing?
Programmer : I am programming right now, sir.
Boss : Okay, help me to lift this TV to the lower level of office.
Programmer : Why me?
Boss : Others are doin' work.

 

[Shaun]

So this actually happened when i was working in tech support.

Me: Hello how can i help.
Client: Help there is daemons in my computer.
Me: Have you tried turning it of and on again?
Client: No ill try that just now.

About 5 minutes later the client called back.

Client: Hi Shaun, Thanks for getting rid of the daemons in my computer.

 

[jackuars]

 

[Deletedmessiah]

Someone posted this in this site long ago

 

[jackuars]

Yes they are!

 

[jackuars]

We are widely different

 

[jackuars]

Good advice - Certainly not be sniffed at: Hackers beware

 

[jackuars]