- Mar 17, 2023
- 202
Hey guys, lately I’ve been seeing a lot of misinformation about BHPH car lots and I want to clear a few things up. I have worked in the below sub-prime market for around 7 years now and currently own a small BHPH lot.
Just a quick overview for those of you who don’t know, BHPH lots are a form of capitalistic charity that helps poor people get reliable transportation. We offer generous $0 down, long-term loans with reasonable rates to a group of marginalized individuals who would otherwise have no other options to buy a car. All the financing happens through the dealer, so the customer doesn’t need to shop around for a loan—this makes for a seamless buying process for the customer. We do all this to help the community and receive only modest financial compensation in return.
Now that we’ve gone over the basics, let me walk you through one of my recent deals so you can get a better idea of what exactly I’m talking about. So there I was sitting at my desk and on a Tuesday afternoon and this single mom—obviously very poor—walks in holding her baby. I light my cigar, stare her in her general direction and say, “Ma’am are you buying a car today or just wasting my time?” This is common sales tactic we use; it’s very effective at weeding the so-called window shoppers who aren’t prepared to buy.
The lady says she’s ready to buy. I let out a loud sigh as I stand up—I weigh 350 lbs so it’s very difficult for me to move around. I stand by my desk for a minute while trying to catch my breath. Then I walk over to the lady, deeply inhale my cigar and blow a cloud of smoke into her child’s face. This will help his lungs grow strong and helps show the customer that I’m a man of good character.
Because my time is valuable, I pick up the first set of keys I can find and tell the lady that I have just the car for her. Its spacious, reliable, and perfect for someone on a budget. It’s a 2006 Range Rover LR2 with only 168,000 miles. Her eyes lit up at when she heard me say Range Rover.
On the walk from my office over to the car, I tell her that because of some cosmetic damage were letting this car go for a steal, $13,000. If we had the car repaired, it would easily be a $20,000 car. Besides a few electronic issues and weird noise from the engine that she didn’t notice, the test drive went well. I consider taking $500 off the purchase price because of the issues, but I still need to eat tonight. She agrees to buy the car.
Finally, I take her back to my office after what must have been nearly 45 minutes. I’m a patient man but my temper can only stretch so far. I print the paperwork out and show her where to sign. She doesn’t need to read the it since she’s not a lawyer and probably wouldn’t understand it anyways. I assure her that she’s making the best deal of her life—the terms were the equivalent of 34% for 96 months, although technically it’s not a loan because legally that’s not allowed. We add fees onto the payments to get around this.
Right before she can sign a worried look comes across her face. She’s sees the glock 9 on my desk. I realize that its pointed straight at her son. I move the gun slightly and apologize. She signs the paperwork, and the deal is done. Another happy customer. I bought that particular at action for $1,500 and spent another $400 installing a GPS tracker on it, so the profits are, once again, modest but I make do. This is my third time selling the LR2 after getting REPOed twice.
The sad side of the story is what happens to customers who don’t find BHPH lots. These people will most likely end up end up buying and old and unreliable used cars from a nonprofessional. They use sites like Craigslist or FB Marketplace and buy unsafe Japanese vehicles from the early 2000s. They think they’re getting a great deal because the purchase price is so low, but what they don’t realize is that these cars aren’t built to the same high standards as their European counterparts and will likely cost them a fortune to keep running.
Would I consider what I do to be charity work? Yes, but I am extremely humble and expect no thank-yous in the comments, although it would be appreciated.
Please let me know if you have any questions about the business.
P. S.
Yes it's satire
Just a quick overview for those of you who don’t know, BHPH lots are a form of capitalistic charity that helps poor people get reliable transportation. We offer generous $0 down, long-term loans with reasonable rates to a group of marginalized individuals who would otherwise have no other options to buy a car. All the financing happens through the dealer, so the customer doesn’t need to shop around for a loan—this makes for a seamless buying process for the customer. We do all this to help the community and receive only modest financial compensation in return.
Now that we’ve gone over the basics, let me walk you through one of my recent deals so you can get a better idea of what exactly I’m talking about. So there I was sitting at my desk and on a Tuesday afternoon and this single mom—obviously very poor—walks in holding her baby. I light my cigar, stare her in her general direction and say, “Ma’am are you buying a car today or just wasting my time?” This is common sales tactic we use; it’s very effective at weeding the so-called window shoppers who aren’t prepared to buy.
The lady says she’s ready to buy. I let out a loud sigh as I stand up—I weigh 350 lbs so it’s very difficult for me to move around. I stand by my desk for a minute while trying to catch my breath. Then I walk over to the lady, deeply inhale my cigar and blow a cloud of smoke into her child’s face. This will help his lungs grow strong and helps show the customer that I’m a man of good character.
Because my time is valuable, I pick up the first set of keys I can find and tell the lady that I have just the car for her. Its spacious, reliable, and perfect for someone on a budget. It’s a 2006 Range Rover LR2 with only 168,000 miles. Her eyes lit up at when she heard me say Range Rover.
On the walk from my office over to the car, I tell her that because of some cosmetic damage were letting this car go for a steal, $13,000. If we had the car repaired, it would easily be a $20,000 car. Besides a few electronic issues and weird noise from the engine that she didn’t notice, the test drive went well. I consider taking $500 off the purchase price because of the issues, but I still need to eat tonight. She agrees to buy the car.
Finally, I take her back to my office after what must have been nearly 45 minutes. I’m a patient man but my temper can only stretch so far. I print the paperwork out and show her where to sign. She doesn’t need to read the it since she’s not a lawyer and probably wouldn’t understand it anyways. I assure her that she’s making the best deal of her life—the terms were the equivalent of 34% for 96 months, although technically it’s not a loan because legally that’s not allowed. We add fees onto the payments to get around this.
Right before she can sign a worried look comes across her face. She’s sees the glock 9 on my desk. I realize that its pointed straight at her son. I move the gun slightly and apologize. She signs the paperwork, and the deal is done. Another happy customer. I bought that particular at action for $1,500 and spent another $400 installing a GPS tracker on it, so the profits are, once again, modest but I make do. This is my third time selling the LR2 after getting REPOed twice.
The sad side of the story is what happens to customers who don’t find BHPH lots. These people will most likely end up end up buying and old and unreliable used cars from a nonprofessional. They use sites like Craigslist or FB Marketplace and buy unsafe Japanese vehicles from the early 2000s. They think they’re getting a great deal because the purchase price is so low, but what they don’t realize is that these cars aren’t built to the same high standards as their European counterparts and will likely cost them a fortune to keep running.
Would I consider what I do to be charity work? Yes, but I am extremely humble and expect no thank-yous in the comments, although it would be appreciated.
Please let me know if you have any questions about the business.
P. S.
Yes it's satire
