The malware removing steps

[LabZero]

Instructions in case of malware infection

-step 1: cold blood
-step 2: try to remove malware
-step 3: malware is removed ? Yes, OK
-step 4: malware not removed ? ... return to step 1

 

[Deleted member 178]

instruction in case of malware infection (rich people only)

step 1- buy a new computer
step 2- laugh at the poor guys trying to remove malwares.

 

[CMLew]

instruction in case of malware infection
step 1 - install Umbra Total Security
step 2 - malware removed? ok.
step 3 - malware not removed? Nah impossible!!!!!

 

[Sr. Normal]

Step 1: Resign. See a photo of your mother in law and understand that there are worse things

Step 2: Seek to blame somebody. It is useless, but it's entertaining

Step 3: Format the computer and reinstall the infected file

Step 4: As @Klipsh said: return to step 1

 

[Anupam]

Ask for a divorce Malware Removed.

 

[Vasudev]

What if, Dark Lord Umbra decides to drop malware(s) as New Year Giveaway to everyone?

 

[JM Safe]

instruction in case of malware infection (rich people only)

step 1- buy a new computer
step 2- laugh at the poor guys trying to remove malwares.

Ahahahah that is right

 

[jamescv7]

Practical steps

1) Calm down...
2) Try to remove by using your tools
3) If does not work, hold your tears
4) Then cry...

_____________________

Another step

1) Infected? No problem just reformat only; case solve.

_____________________

Another situation:

1) Definitely apply yourself with 'cold water to burned area'.
2) Realize that if you didn't try it then your task is continuously on the flow.

 

[DracusNarcrym]

How to remove malware:

1. Boot system.
2. Ask malware politely to make its way out of your system.
3. Malware agrees after many requests.
4. Turns out malware was only lonely.
5. Voila! You've cleaned up your system and made new friends!

Malware removal is such a joy!

 

[Vasudev]

Steps to remove ransom malware
1.Boot into hostage pc
2.Ask politely how much $$$$ does it need to get out of the pc?
3.Show it a promissory note that I'd pay.
4.Malware will get out and its time to surprise it.
5.Infected user: Someother hacker zeroed by bank account and no money to pay but I'm sure the AV company will be humbly paying the amount instead for getting the malware inside the pc.
6. Time to reformat. Thank you.

 

[Anupam]

instruction in case of malware infection (rich people only)

step 1- buy a new computer
step 2- laugh at the poor guys trying to remove malwares.

step 2 - You can donate your old computer to me

 

[Rishi]

How to remove and forget malware(literally), simple excuses:
1) I got a nasty computer infection.Luckily, I had intended just that using it as honeypot.
2)Infected again,but luckily no one is around to see that.
3)Oh this virus is awesome, it keeps deleting all the 'sensitive content' which my wife should not see.
4)I sense a hacker on my computer, I will gladly ask him to guard my system when I am not around.
5)I would definately clean this virus, but I have to gift this computer to my mother-in-law.

 

[McLovin]

Close enough?