Warning: Highly Enchanted Content
This tale contains dangerously high levels of digital paranoia, binary sorcery, and technical humor. If you're allergic to mysterious reboots, self-aware logs, or CEOs appearing in encrypted transmissions… proceed with caution.
But if your soul needs a break from patches, updates, and paranoid configurations, this story is for you. As a Halloween gift to the MalwareTips community, we present a miniseries that blends bugs, witches, firewalls, and Turkish coffee. A dose of humor to lift the mood, brighten the spirit, and summon smiles amid digital chaos.
Prepare to enter the Haunted Mansion of the forum, where threads never die and errors have a will of their own.
Welcome to:
Hocus Malware: A Digital Paranoia Pocus
The Cursed Code of Comodo A five-chapter miniseries you won’t be able to uninstall.
Chapter 1: The Cursed Thread
It was a dark and stormy night in the Haunted Mansion of MalwareTips™, a place where threads never die and bugs lurk in every corner of the code. Thunder roared like corrupted logs, and moderators patrolled the halls with USB flashlights.
Bazang, the restless digital alchemist, sat in his lab in the east wing, surrounded by flickering screens and coffee mugs with more RAM than his netbook. With trembling fingers and 64-bit eye bags, he opened a new thread:
“Why does the ‘HIPS Rules Disappearing’ bug in Comodo require a full rewrite of the source code?” “I’ve rebooted five times and the rules vanish like they never existed!” —he exclaimed, as his keyboard sparked with cursed energy.
Unbeknownst to him, Bazang had triggered a hidden spell in the Comodo installer: an ancient line of code written in dark Pascal, sealed since the days of Service Pack 1. By enabling “Paranoid Mode,” he broke the arcane seal protecting the firewall’s core… and awakened something that should have remained dormant.
Deep within Comodo’s servers, beyond logs and changelogs, a figure emerged from the code: Melih, the sorcerer CEO, creator of the firewall and keeper of the kernel’s secrets.
“At last!” —Melih laughed, his voice echoing like a BSOD— “Someone has activated the rewrite protocol! Chaos shall begin.”
Meanwhile, in the Mansion, portraits of ancient forum members flickered. Statues of forgotten antiviruses turned their heads. And in the basement, where corrupted backups were stored, the three witches of the operating system —MsDosia, Winzarra, and Linuxia— awoke from their binary slumber.
“The bug has been summoned,” —whispered MsDosia, as a cloud of blue-screen-shaped smoke rose from the floor.
Bazang, unaware of the digital apocalypse he had unleashed, was simply preparing to post a spoiler-formatted log.
Chapter 2: The Arrival of the Archmages
Bazang cried out for help in the thread. Soon, the wise ones of the forum arrived—known in the Mansion as the Archmages of the Kernel, guardians of the digital arcane:
Andy Ful, the Hard_Configurator alchemist, who speaks in scripts and foretells system behavior.
Tridente, the registry seer, who reads the soul of Windows keys like ancient runes.
CruelSister, the shadow witch, who only appears when the bug is truly worthy.
Divergente, the skeptic, who suspects everything and everyone—even the patches.
Pico, the archivist, who preserves logs as if they were sacred relics.
Rashmi, the silent cryptographer, who communicates in binary, emojis, and encrypted silence.
Together, they form the Coven of the Secure Console, protectors of the digital realm and interpreters of cursed code.
“This isn’t a bug,” —declared Andy Ful— “It’s a curse. The rules don’t disappear… they transform.”
“The calculator survives!” —added Tridente— “But everything else fades. As if the system forgets.”
“Or as if someone makes it forget,” —whispered CruelSister, gazing at the digital sky.
Chapter 3: The Code Conjuring
As the Archmages decipher the cursed logs, they uncover a pattern: the HIPS rules aren’t deleted—they’re rewritten with new IDs. Alerts vanish. Exported policies are empty. The system seems to suffer from amnesia.
“This isn’t consolidation,” —said Tridente— “It’s corruption.”
“And if it’s corruption, there must be a corrupter,” —added Divergente.
In an encrypted transmission, Melih reappears, wearing his CEO robe and wielding a marketing staff.
“Fools! You think you can comprehend Comodo’s code? I wrote it with developer blood and Turkish coffee!”
“Melih!” —shouted Bazang— “What have you done to the rules?”
“I set them free! Control is but a fragile illusion shattered by the glorious roar of chaos!
MUAAHAHAHA!”
— Melih laughs with a devilish cackle, thunder rumbling in the background, as if the universe itself were mildly concerned.
Chapter 4: The Reboot Ritual
The Coven prepares a ritual: combining Pico’s logs, Andy Ful’s scripts, and Tridente’s analysis to summon the Supreme Patch.
Rashmi draws runes in hexadecimal. CruelSister chants lines from the forbidden changelog. Divergente hacks the BIOS to prevent Melih’s interference.
Bazang, as the thread’s initiator, must be the sacrifice: he will reboot his system with the experimental patch.
“If I don’t return… clear my cache,” —he says dramatically.
He presses “Restart.” Black screen. Silence. Then… the desktop appears. The HIPS rules are intact. The bug has been contained.
At that moment, the three OS witches —MsDosia, Winzarra, and Linuxia— feel the spell break. Slowly, they vanish into a cloud of binary smoke, returning to their prison of retroactive compatibility. The basement falls silent… for now.
Chapter 5: The Sorcerer’s Return
All seems calm. The thread fills with thanks, memes, and theories. The Archmages retreat to their debugging chambers, leaving behind only logs and legends.
But in the shadows, Melih has not been defeated.
“You think this is over?” —he whispers from his server throne— “The code is eternal. And so am I.”
A mysterious new Comodo update appears in the forums: Version 13.13.13.
“Should we install it?” —asks Bazang. “Only if you’re ready for another night of sorcery,” —replies CruelSister, sharpening her Sandbox™.
THE END… or is it?
HALLOWEEN SPECIAL REPORT: "AI at the party? You won't believe what happens next. Coming tomorrow..."