Windscribe Acquired By BSVPN

[Sammo]

We are very proud to announce that we have been acquired by Gape Technologies for $696,969,420! On April 1st, we will honour our new overlords by rebranding to BSVPN! Remember the old Windscribe features we had? We've improved them because at BSVPN we think big, how big?

Not only does BSVPN have location cloaking abilities, we’ve figured out a way for you to connect to servers in the past! You’re damn right we did. With BSVPN you can go back to three months ago when gas didn’t cost more than Gucci braces for the infant children of the Austrian aristocracy! Miss coughing in public without everyone treating you like a leper? Go back to a time when coughing just made people think you smoked weed all day and watched reruns of Big Bang theory like a degenerate! Bazinga!

BSVPN is the latest in colorless, genderless, scentless, apolitical, green-powered time travel technology! Each BSVPN server is paw-selected by a team of hyper-intelligent meerkats, with human names like “George”. They pick only the sweetest Compaq servers, retrofitted with brand new i486 processors and like, 20 megabytes of RAM. What does this costly and adorable process accomplish? It ensures that our servers are ultra secure so your virtual privates remain networked and your networked privates remain virtual! You think that’s an easy feat? If it was, we wouldn’t need meerkats to do it, would we?

Want an account? BSVPN only accepts FutureBucks now, which are a super advanced combination of Bitcoin and Dogecoin, divided by the weight of a single slice of Camembert cheese if it was on Pluto. Don’t believe Pluto is a planet? Use BSVPN to go back in time to when it was! There are no limits to what BSVPN can do for you, as evidenced by the video you just watched. Sign up to BSVPN today, and empty your wallet directly into our bank account. No backsies, since we've made finding the cancel button harder than finding a McDonalds in North Korea.

With Love,

Team BSVPN (Formerly known as Windscribe)

Check out our latest infomercial below to find out all the details.

 

[blackice]

April Fools! But, seriously for half a second I thought it was possible BSVPN could be a real name. That’s the state of the VPN industry.

 

[Sammo]

April Fools! But, seriously for half a second I thought it was possible BSVPN could be a real name. That’s the state of the VPN industry.

Ha! You caught me!

 

[JasonUK]

Ha! You caught me!

I had an email from Windscribe about this 'takeover', then noticed new name BSVPN and thought that's an unfortunate choice of name, then noticed the date and just thought this is total BS