Jokes only please!

Shran

Level 5
Verified
Well-known
Jan 19, 2015
230
Found this one on Twitter
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Eyegor

New Member
Jan 21, 2016
8
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they were both super employees.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like crap."
 

Eyegor

New Member
Jan 21, 2016
8
A guy is in a bar, standing next to a pirate with the usual wooden leg, hook hand and eye-patch. He says "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get your injuries? What happened to your leg?"
"Aaarrr" says the pirate, "I had ta walk the plank, fell overboard, an' it was bitten of by a shark!"
"Nasty. What about your hook hand?", asks the guy.
"Aaarrr, I got inta a fight wi' Long John Silver, an' he cut off me hand wi' his cutlass!"
"Ouch. What about your eye?"
"Aaarrr, I wis scannin the horizon for enemy ships, and a seagull ##### in me eye!"
"But, surely you wouldn't have lost your eye just because of that?"
"Aaarrr, I'd forgotten about the hook..."
 

sid_16

Level 20
Thread author
Verified
Top Poster
Well-known
Jul 19, 2013
954
When I was young I decided, I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to
go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an
important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are all doctors today.

The rest of us are sending jokes via email.
 

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