A guy is in a bar, standing next to a pirate with the usual wooden leg, hook hand and eye-patch. He says "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get your injuries? What happened to your leg?"
"Aaarrr" says the pirate, "I had ta walk the plank, fell overboard, an' it was bitten of by a shark!"
"Nasty. What about your hook hand?", asks the guy.
"Aaarrr, I got inta a fight wi' Long John Silver, an' he cut off me hand wi' his cutlass!"
"Ouch. What about your eye?"
"Aaarrr, I wis scannin the horizon for enemy ships, and a seagull ##### in me eye!"
"But, surely you wouldn't have lost your eye just because of that?"
"Aaarrr, I'd forgotten about the hook..."